Q-Tip

If you were a q-tip
I'd shove you in my ear
clean out the nonsense I hear
and listen to you instead.

My Mandarin Selling MILF Count

My mandarin selling MILF count
so far is up to ten
wait, there's eleven
put a tally down again

12 now, hey now! 13, 14
she wants to be my friend
selling fruit is never boring
when everyone's a ten

My mandarin selling MILF count
has made it up to twenty.
Here's another beautiful mother
giving me her money

She eyes my mandarins up and down
asks me how they taste
well in a month they one won't be around
so there's no time to waste.

Road Trip

The backseat of a car,
a place of discomfort.
Frankly right now
I'd rather be sunburnt
My head feels like a hangover
and this seat makes my bum hurt
Flipped off a range rover
the driver was just some jerk
who tried to cut us off.
He failed cause we aren't moving.
At least it's just a roadtrip
and we aren't actually moving.
Knees bent forever,
My legs are too big
I'd try to move em' straight
but would they snap like a twig?
a gas station would be
a beautiful sight to see
haven't told the driver,
but I really have to pee.
My cup is half empty
we're only halfway there
my bladder is full
and we're in the middle of nowhere.